If you’re pregnant, you’ve likely encountered this: unsolicited comments about the size of your baby bump. Everyone—friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers—seems entitled to weigh in on how your belly looks.
– “Wow, you’re HUGE! Are you sure it’s not twins?”
– “You’re so small—are you eating enough?”
– “You’re carrying so low; it must be a boy.”
– “You’re carrying high—it’s a girl.”
Let’s pause and reflect on this phenomenon. None of these comments are helpful. Any real expertise informs none of them. And none of them take into account the individuality of pregnancy.
Why Does This Happen?
- Social Norms Around Pregnancy: Pregnancy occasionally invites public commentary. People feel comfortable sharing their opinions on what they perceive as “normal,” even when their comments are misguided or hurtful.
- Misinformation: Many people rely on outdated or anecdotal “knowledge,” leading to assumptions about belly size or shape that have no medical basis.
- Lack of Awareness: Most people don’t realise how these remarks can affect a pregnant woman’s confidence, especially when she’s already navigating significant physical and emotional changes.
The Reality of Belly Sizes
Every pregnancy is different. Genetics, body type, the baby’s position, and whether it’s a first pregnancy all influence how a belly looks.
No “right” or “wrong” way for a pregnant belly to appear. What matters most is the health of the baby and the mother.
Why These Comments Can Be Harmful
Unsolicited opinions can create unnecessary stress and self-doubt for pregnant women. These comments often lead to:
- Body Image Issues: Pregnancy already involves significant physical changes, and external scrutiny can make women feel insecure.
- Increased Anxiety: Remarks about size can cause women to worry unnecessarily about their baby’s growth or their health.
- Feeling Policed: Constant commentary can make women feel like their pregnancy is public property rather than a personal experience.
How to Respond to Belly Comments
If you’re on the receiving end of these remarks, here are some responses to reclaim your narrative:
- Polite but Firm: “Thanks for your input, but my doctor and midwife say everything is perfectly on track!”
- Redirect the Conversation: “It’s funny how every pregnancy is so different, isn’t it?”
- Set Boundaries: “I appreciate your concern but prefer to focus on my journey without comparisons.”
A Quote to Remember
“A mother’s confidence grows when surrounded by support, not opinions. Let’s choose to uplift, not critique.”
A Note for Everyone Else
Before you comment on a pregnant woman’s belly size, ask yourself:
- Is this helpful?
- Do you know if I have the expertise to make this remark?
- Should I say this to uplift or state my opinion?
The best comment you can give is one of encouragement and support, such as:
– “You’re glowing!”
– “You’re doing such an amazing job.”
– “I’m so happy for you.”
Final Thought
Pregnancy is an incredibly personal journey, and no one’s belly size needs validation or critique. Let’s normalise keeping unsolicited opinions to ourselves and focus instead on offering genuine support to expectant mothers.
Feel free to share your thoughts and experience in a session with me
